Teacup Conversations Episode VIII: The Impediment

According to Christopher, I have a speech impediment.
I'll bet you money you'll never guess what it is.
Go ahead: Guess!
Ready?
I can't say the "s" sound in plural forms of words ending in "s" or "st."

Example:
"Chris, on your way home from work, can you stop by the grocery store and pick up a pack of chicken breast?"
"Breasts?
"Hmm? Oh yeah, I have those."
"No, breast-S!!! You said the singular but you meant the plural. Chicken breast-S!"
"No, I said the plural. Breast."
"BREASTS!!!"
And it goes on for about five more minutes. And no, really, we're talking about chickens.
Then there the morning drives when I fuss about spandex-laden cyclists ruling the roads. "Ugh! Cyclist here are crazy!"
"You mean cylist-S?"
 "That's what I said!"
"No, you didn't. It's cylclist-S! CYCLISTS!!!"
You get the idea. I sit there giggling uncontrollably, and Chris finds himself in that odd place between laughing and frustration with my befuddling impediment: the inability to speak plurals . . . such an easy concept, not grasped but slaughtered in my fumbling hands . . . er lips.

It brings back flashbacks of when we were dating and Chris came to the harsh realization that I am incapable of saying "poem." Apparently, I say "pome." Which, you know, is awesome as a lit teacher. I'm ruining the next generation. Golly.

That was the nice thing about first grade--they worshipped my every word.
When I confessed I couldn't say "poem" correctly, they quickly assured me that I was . . . and that my husband was obviously the one really saying it wrong. Hmm, who'da thunk it?
One day, I forgot my lunch, so Chris popped into the classroom to bring it to me and watch the kids light up (they thought he was a celebrity, living-proof that teachers exist beyond the classroom).
"Hey, say poem!" one little boy blurted out.
"Uuuuh poem?"
"Ha! You said it wrong! Mrs. Bocci says it right!"
We were both trying really hard not to laugh--Chris at the silly innocence of children, me at the sweetness of  almost-victory (I get those so rarely)

Do you have any funny speaking habits?

Oh and P.S. Guess who was featured on an up-and-coming healthy living website. 

C'est moi!
*Squeeeeee!!!*

Thank goodness all this obsessing over decorating plans has come to some sort of fruition, even if it's not monetary. :] I'll be posting mini-articles with decorating tips each week for a few weeks. The site is fabulous and definitely worth a look waaay beyond my home decor article. I feel so hipster now. I think I need to don big, vintage pair of glasses, a scarf, and a glass of organic almond milk. So hip.