Monday, June 13, 2011

Zingers and Miscellany Mondays

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

Do you remember the scene in the delightful “You’ve Got Mail” where Kathleen Kelly confessed to her email-penpal how badly she wishes she had the gift of zingers? (If you don’t remember, hit up Netflix, Red Box, or your local library and watch the movie. Now. It’s fabulous). Oh, Kathleen, I feel ya, hun.

When someone says something incredible rude, negative, or mocking, I come up with great zingers. No, really peeps, I feel so horribly witty when they flit across my mind. The problem? I usually come up with them like the next day. Darn. And then they seem either like chunks of gold or super lame even then. I’m just not a zinger.


Chris and I have been searching for either a small guest bed or, mostly, a sleeper couch/futon. We searched and we searched but could find one that we neither liked nor could afford, so we gave up and decided that any overnight guest would be forced onto the couch or a hotel room. Not at all what I wanted but, what could I do? If the bank account says no, I’ve kinda got to agree. As it turned out, God provided us with something as silly as a futon: a friend of Chris’s gave us one for free because he was moving and had no more need of it. SCORE!!! I was so excited and felt so blessed!

The futon and I had our formal introduction last night in the presence of a friend.

I squealed and immediately hopped/plopped myself into it, bubbling over with joy. “Christopher!” I called to the hubs, gaming in the next room, “I approve!”


My friend walked by, perched across the room, and said, “No one’s ever going to want to stay with you guys if they have to sleep on that. Futon’s are sooooo uncomfortable. I slept on one once. Hated it. And besides, no one would want to stay in Chris's gameroom and put up with his gaming all night. Ugh.”
I don’t know if this should have been offensive, but it was after suffering over a month of negativity whenever anything involving our future move was mentioned, and over three years of criticizing my husband, and this recent decision for us to get a dog (you have NO idea). It was time for a zinger. Just to prove I have a bloody backbone. Guess what I did?

a. said nothing
b. smacked her
c. stammered my affections for futons and that really, he wouldn't game all night and "I can find ways to distract Chris."
d. Laughed, "Oh you're so funny!"
e. “Well you won’t ever have to sleep on it. I only have pleasant people visit.”
f. Complained about how much I, too, hate futons, and, she's right, my husband's hobbies are annoying.

If you guessed E . . . that’s what I wish had happened. Of course, I didn’t think about that one up until my lunch break this afternoon. No it's not particularly smashing, but . . . it's better than what I really did.

So, I pretty much went with C and tried to ignore it. No, some futon’s aren’t always the most comfy (I thought our wasn’t half bad), but it was God’s gift and no one should be bashing it in that context. And maybe she's right: maybe none of my out of town friends, in need of a bed for the a night, would want to stay with us. Maybe everyone hates futons and the thought of futons. I guess I’m just been really sensitive and defensive recently when she says things like that. Blech.

How do you deal with zingers?


  1. Um, if you get to sleep on a Futon for FREE as opposed to spending like 100 dollars at a hotel, plus I'm sure you two probably allow them to drink and eat your food which saves them money, then they should not be complaining. ONE night on a futon, or a few, isn't going to kill you.

    My gosh.

    I'm over the negativity, as well.

    Also, I'm the same way, I come up with stuff way later and so I still say it. I sure do.

    This is a long comment, and guess what? I'm not stopping. Evan's parent's had a wooden futon in their office that Evan slept on for a month when he moved back in with them for the summer. It wasn't the most comfortable thing, but it wasn't the worst. The floor would be the worst. You can try it out and if it indeed is terrible there are probably millions of ways to fix it. Problem solved.

    OK, I'm finally done. bahahaha

  2. Haha thanks, Larissa ;]
    Yes, negativity is so very, very old. So cool that you actually speak your zingers--mine are often trapped in the fortress of my mind . . . until the hubs has a spare minute . . . or thirty. Then he gets to hear, "Man, I should have said . . ." One of these days I'm going to actually use one. I will, I will! lol

    And seriously! I'd so rather sleep on a futon than the floor or spend tons of money to stay in a hotel room by myself. No, they're not beds made of clouds, but they are a bed . . . mostly. And it's the hospitality that counts, right?

  3. This girl sounds sorta awful! I think you should say something to her about all the negativity she has been bringing into your life. It's possible she doesn't even realize it and will apologize, or it's possible that she is just a mean person. Either way, it needs to be addressed. You seem lovely and futons are lovely and she needs to stop being a Negative Nancy.

    (Off soap box : )



  4. First off, I think your blog is super cute :]

    Secondly, thank you for the sweet things you said. It makes me smile! I am also moving into a much smaller place in August and I will be facing the same troubles as you! Hmm, I do have some advice to give actually! You've completely inspired a new design blog post :]

    Btw, don't be afraid of paint! If it looks bad, repaint it. I will say that it's best to avoid dark colors and bold patterns in small spaces. There are tricks to painting a small room to make it appear bigger though. I'd making statements with artwork and furniture instead of the paint.

  5. this is off topic but I wanted to say thanks for the link to "yes to carrots", I'm going to try to see if they carry it in Canada :D

  6. Sarah - Thank you for confirming that I'm not insane for being a little sensitive ;^]. She really has moments of being very, very nice, but this negativity thing keeps popping up and I really am going to have to say something at some point, because if she doesn't realize how negative she sounds, she would want to fix it. Thanks!

    Colby -- Thank you muchly! :^] I'm glad you like the blog, I'll definitely keep all that in mind when choosing paint colors. I've been reading decorating articles out the wazoo to try to figure our how to make that little place something almost fabulous. It will help actually being able to work in the house instead of having to remember and imagine.

    Eva -- You're welcome! I hope you can find them and that they work. Once you find natural products you love, it's impossible to go back to the old stuff. Best of luck!

  7. First, LOVE the movie reference... Such a fantastic movie!! I love Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan together.

    Second, I will GLADLY crash on the futon if/when I get a chance to visit overnight (even if that doesn't happen until next summer, lol).

    Third, it's not always terrible to not be able to think of zingers quickly enough to use. Because those who spit them out without thinking them through (i.e., me) have to apologize a lot more than those who keep them to themselves or their hubbies (i.e., you).

    Besides, you're just right the way you are :-)


Good morning, Starshine! The Earth says, "Hello!"