Project 31 Day 23: Strong and Weak

Day 23.  What are your strengths?  What are your weaknesses?

Oh golly . . . these are the questions I dread on those annual self-reviews. If I talk about my strengths, do I look like an arrogant jerk? What if I have them wrong? if I talk about my flaws, is that all people will see? It's quite the conundrum (fyi, that's our favorite word in first grade along with "renegade," "murmur," and "cacophony"--I believe in a diverse vocabulary . . . is that a strength? ;] )

Strengths

• I'm devoted--once you really have my friendship/commitment whatever, you're not getting rid of me easily. It can be hard to get in. I may waver on small decisions, but I stick to my guns when it comes to big time commitments and people. You just can't get rid of me.
• I'm constantly learning.--I want to know everything. I know I can't, but golly, it's nice to try. :] Plus, I like sharing these weird tidbits.  Chris likes to tease that he didn't realize he was marrying an encyclopedia.  Most of it is useless info, but I still love it. It also ties into taking care of my animals, decorating/caring for my home, health, and my cooking--I'm always on the hunt for new tidbits to make things better and a new recipe.
• My imagination is insane. -- This can be a good and bad thing. It's great if I'm trying to be creative or resourceful. I wrote a 300 book when I was sixteen, and am still working on it. Imagination helps lots there. It's pretty awesome when you're trying to fix something or solve riddles and you come up with wacky solutions. It's dreadful when I start worrying.  Or when I'm unconscious and my dreams rival those of an LSD overdose. And sometimes, when I'm in the shower and the curtain starts to move and suddenly I'm convinced it's a flesh-eating zombie and AH! Oh wait, it's just the cats.  
• I can communicate -- This goes beside the learning thing.  I love words. I love learning how people tick. I like putting all these things together to communicate well. I tell great stories. Sometimes, I talk waaaaaay too much or get so caught up in the story, I lose the point, but, in the end, I can get my point across via mouth or paper . . . and, dang it, sometimes I might even turn out funny. 
• I care -- sometimes too much, but I'm empathetic. I'll listen if you just need to unload.  I want to make people happy. I want to serve to make someone feel loved and valued.  Stories of suffering and abused children make me cry, ache, and do whatever I can to try to help. I want to take care of animals, yes even the creepy crawlers . . . minus the demon cockroach. Heck, I even get onto Chris if he says something unkind about an electronic. I just care. 
• When I commit myself, I work hard and I do well -- I do . . . and, in the past, I succeed at almost everything I put my mind to. It just turns out well. The problem is getting me to start . . . see below . . . 

Weaknesses

• I'm lazy -- there, I admitted it. I have days of uber activity and I can be such a hard, hard worker, but there are things I just can't stand and put off and put off and put off. The hardest part is actually getting started because once I start, I work hard and I enjoy it. This is something we're working hard on. I've started exercising and cooking healthier, even though it's not easy.  
• I'm insecure  --  I replay conversations over and over again until I blush because I'm so humiliated about what I said or did, even if no one else would have noticed. I feel unfashionable, uninteresting, and awkward, so I'm always shocked when people like me and terrified that they won't. For extended-in-law events, I always try to make something fabulous to get over my own insecurities about being a good cook. I used to cry all the time at the beginning of the school year because I was terrified that my students' parents didn't like me.  I almost didn't join a small group at church because I was afraid I wouldn't fit in. All of these things are ridiculous, but it's been a struggle of mine my entire life. No excuse, it's just an on-going process.
• I like other people to make decisions for me -- Why? Because I don't want to choose something that would make someone else unhappy. It doesn't matter what I want--it should--because I'm more worried about what they want. It drives the hubs batty. 
• I hate spending money and fear that there's never enough. 
• I'm impatient -- I read spoilers. I beg for answers. Doggone it, I need to know noooooooooooooow. I love planning things, and in order to properly plan, I need all the info, pronto. I need to know the names of our future children, the place we'll live, the color of the walls, the whole shebang. Years down the road? Yes, but I need a plan NOW.

 
 And yup, that's me in a nutshell. Hm. I can't decide if bearing my soul--the good, the bad, and the ugly--was fun or not ;]



Ta-ta, lovies!