Miscellany Monday

 Booty

Friday, the hubs walked into my cubicle wearing the grin of a Viking conquerer bearing loot.
"I have corn!" He announces proudly, holding the plastic bag stuffed with goodness.
Ah, the benefits of working for an agricultural company: free sweet corn.

And it was DARN GOOD CORN, thank you very much.

Saturday, I heard those words no one ever wants to hear in a salon . . .

Friday Favorites

By golly, Miss Molly! It's been a while since I've done one of these! Let's give it a go!

Hubbish Immitations:

The hubs' birthday-money-from-everyone gift to himself: a Les Paul Studio Deluxe . . . ooooh it's pretty and sounds beautiful. It's his baby.



“Chris? Why are you grumpy?”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. Did I marry an Eeyore?”

*sigh* “No, you did not marry ‘an Eeyore.’ You see, I bring balance. I am whatever everyone else in the room is not. You’re in the room, and you’re all like, ‘OH MY GOD! DRAGONFLIES! SUNSHINE! LOOK AT THE SPIDER WEB! KITTIIIIIES!!! PIPKIN! NAVI! MUAHMUAHMUAH! I LOVE YOU!!!! SHASTA! CHASE THE PUPPY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!! I PAINT ALL THE THINGS!”

Sadly, I’m afraid this may be an accurate representation . . .

This Pup:

She’s converted me.

This crazy-cat-lady-wannabe loves canines.

Well, this canine.

But, seriously, how could I not? Look at that face!

She was begging for cheese . . . I made her wait for it . . . I'm a terrible puppy parent, I know . . .

And, no, sweet kitties, you can never be replaced.

Pipkin

Navi

Zoo Trips

I love going to the zoo . . . Even if the Sanford Zoo isn't the most impressive. Chris and I both love creepy-crawlers and the big cats.

He totally commandeered my camera in the reptile/amphibian exhibit so I resorted to using my phone . . . silly man.

We attended with the family company . . . the one I work for during the summers and the one that is sending him out to Cali. It was fun, seeing all of his out-of-town relatives and, let's face it, a free trip to look at awesome critters and then enjoy a free lunch. Good weekend? Yes. 

Artsy-Fartsy:

Last night, after much begging from me and much sweet sacrifice from him, the hubs took me out to paint our own pottery again. I don’t know if my Zelda-homage-GIANT coffee cup will turn out well . . . but, by golly, it was fun.

And I was a mess.
I love being a mess for the sake of art.
Mostly because, whenever I partake in art, I end up looking like an utter disaster.

You should have seen the other hand . . .

P.S. I also realized that, when concentrating on tiny details while painting, I totally do that weird thing where I get REALLY close to the project, my brow furrows, and my tongue pokes out of the corner of my mouth. Why exposed tongues aid in artistic creation? I DON’T KNOW. But it works.

This Bracelet:

You see, I wanted this favorite phrase from a favorite book by a favorite author inked.
The hubs was less than keen. Boo.

Anywho, so we compromised. I found this awesome shop that can do custom bracelets, so voila!
Now I where “He’s not a tame lion” on my wrist every day, and I can take it off every night.

He’s happy.
I’m happy.
TA-DA!!!

Strange Children

Do you know how intriguing it is to find small people in an office setting??
HUGELY interesting.

Does this speak to the excitement level of my job?
Yes, yes it does.

I feel like Jane Goodall examining apes. Seriously, I should start taking notes.
Every arguement I overhear, all the random games, the bartering of food, the aimless strolling, the irritated, working mother . . . It's FASCINATING.
Says the girl typing up archives of the development of celery seed.
. . . it's actually becoming interesting . . . celery . . .

Now, the feral children are wandering the office in their incredibly squeaky sneakers and flappy flip-flops, foraging for diet sodas . . . how interesting, you strange, foreign little creatures . . .

Thank God it’s Friday. I need to get out. Obviously. :]

College Diplomas

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!
The hubs has officially graduated with his Bachelors of Science Degree!!!
It only took him ten years, but, by golly, he made it!

And, yes, we TOTALLY still have it on disply like that on our mantle

Have an awesome weekend, lovelies!

Game of Thrones . . . of the Realm of Cubicle

Well, peeps, here we are. It’s official summer, and I have officially started my summer employment. Where am I? Back at the celery-and-then-some company from last summer.

Thrilling?
Oh, yes, darlings. You have no idea.

What am I most excited about?

Friday Favorites (or Things You Learn at the Summer Job)

Interning at this 85-year-old family business, I find myself going away with a little more knowledge than when I came in.

Because, really, I didn’t come in with much.
At all.

See, the hubs and in-laws don’t talk about “the company” much. Every once in a while, I’d hear something, but it was like hearing people speak Chinese—you knew a few of the words from your child’s favorite PBS shows but the rest was complete gibberish.

My first assignment as an intern was to spend my day reading newsletters from the past twenty years.
Nope, not even kidding.
Do you know what it’s like reading twenty years worth of “and this is how the celery’s doing”? Sure, there were other things: radishes, cooling and packaging plants, employee announcements, real estate . . . puppy birth announcements.
Yeah, I’ll never get over that last one.

After that, it was writing articles on farming, auditing employee forms, archiving and summarizing past newsletters, writing company-inspired trivia, and scanning mountains of old company and family photos. Needless to say, after being here for almost two months, I now know more about the company than Chris does . . . and it’s owned by his blood relatives.

I learned . . .

• Farmer’s like to pose with their crops.
  Sometimes rulers are involved. “This season, Celery is THIS tall! We’re so proud!”
  Sometimes it’s beside competitor’s crops or crops before new growing method and whatnot. For historical records, comparisons, and all that.
  Sometimes, they also like to pretend it’s a candid photo. “Oh yeah, squat down in the celery field and look thoughtful! No one will know you’re posing! So natural!”
  Kiddos, you’re not fooling anyone.
• Florida farmer haircuts bear a huge resemblance to the male haircuts peppering the Mississippi population surrounding my alma mater (good grief, I can’t believe I just called it that haha). Need an idea? Justin Bieber but with more comb-over-esqu swoosh than styled straightening. Yup.
• There is SO MUCH paperwork. Good golly. But I guess that’s across the board with any company. 
•  If you don’t immediately deal with said paperwork, it builds to a monster mound of impossibility. So you give it to the intern to deal with.
• History matters. A lot. The office building proudly displays old labels, posters, family pictures. Nearly every individual office holds a large portrait of “the three seniors” (the sons of the man who first started farming celery in this area of Florida). Family history is important  . . . but there's a fine line . . . somewhere . . .
• Any time you’re uber bored, I could recite the family history for you . . . but I won’t . . . not now, anyways.

In my spare time, my time trying to keep my brain a pulsing, living, thinking part of my body, I browsed Google like a madwoman

I learned . . .

• You can kill and prevent bugs in your home and pets without heavy chemical-based products (natural plant oils, garlic, and diatomaceous earth help A LOT . . . I’ll let you know how that goes)
• Eating dirt is good for you. Well eating diatomaceous earth is.
   Supposedly, it helps clean your digestive tract, clean plaque out of your veins and arteries, and gives you softer hair, stronger nails, and a cleaner complexion. Oh and it gets rid of intestinal parasites. Not something I’m worried about right now, but, hey, why not?
• Light colors and vertical stripes make a room look taller and larger
• If you have a brown roof, use warm colors like yellow . . . which is why we’re painting ours a deep, neutral green. Most likely. We may be too tired to bother.
• The world’s tiniest insect, a Trichogramma Wasp, lays its eggs inside the eggs of other pests and is excellent pest control. They also cost near $50 via Amazon. Hm, not paying that much for a bug, sorry.
• I get sick to my stomach even seeing pictures of roaches. YUCK
• That there are several different kinds of scrapbooking glue
• It’s difficult to find anything but full-length curtains online. I have little windows, and need little curtains, peeps. Please?
• People who review products are either really positive or bitter and grumpy.
• The images from the new 2012 Amazing Spiderman look fabulous. And, I’m sorry, but Andrew Garfield is adorable. *SQUEEZE*
• I send WAY more emails now than I ever have before. I’m desperate for human contact.
• Robert Patterson is distantly related to Vlad the Impaler . . . aka Dracula.
  You know, Mr. Patterson, if you weren't you, this would probably make you pretty cool . . . but now, I'm a little creeped out.

Celery and the City of Lights

Oh gee oh golly, I haven't been on in ages.
That's what a forty-hour summer job will do to you.
A job that's basic tasks require auditing 401(k) forms and archiving newsletters about celery.

I am not even kidding.

Ok, so the letter includes a little more than celery--there's radishes, citrus, sugar cane, real estate, and sod. Probably more, but that's all I really remember. Oh, and Afghan hounds. No really. Someone in the company breeds Afghan hounds and posts an update every time one wins the "Hot Dog Beach Body" reward or something. No it really is a title like that. And every time there are puppies, we have to know that "momma and puppies are fine" . . . Who says that? About dogs? I don't know, maybe when I finally have our dog, I'll say the same thing . . . except, hopefully, it will be male . . . and, really, no one cares about how Daddy's doing. He didn't push living beings out of his .  . . ok, tangent over.

And the staples . . .my gosh the staples . . . Fort-friggin-Knox trying to get all those insurance and retirement forms separated. Barbed-wire, folks. There's got to be a "go-green" rule against obsessive use of staples. Seriously

All in all, though, it's a good job, a good environment, and nice people. I'm really not complaining. It's just funny.
More on that later, I promise.
Point being, I'm exhausted and can't really blog while on the clock, you know?
Oh, and when I come home, it's straight to working out, cleaning, cooking, cleaning, and hopefully sleeping. Oh the sleep!

BUT!!! More Importantly!!!!

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