Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Dentist, n.: A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth, pulls coins out of one's pockets.
--Ambrose Bierce
First off, I don't know if I had mentioned this, but I LOVE my classroom parents. These people have all been shockingly helpful and supportive and such blessings as I continue to figure out the classroom. School is great, the kids are wonderful, and by golly, by only the grace and strength of God, I think we're making this work. Thank you, Lord!
Secondly, to go along with the quote . . . I went to the dentist today for the first time in nearly two years. If you know me, you know I'm paranoid about my teeth. I think it came from loving the dentist as a child (BIZARRE?! YES!! But I did!) because they always told me how well I was doing, how great my teeth were (and they should have been after two years of braces and all the involved shenanigans!), how good. The day they found my first cavity at age 18, you would have thought they had told my cat had been run over. Then, I started working in the library. Oh my, I had never seen so many missing, blackened, worn out, plaque-infested, rotting teeth in all my life. This only increased my dental hygienic fervor.  So, I FINALLY make an appointment with a dentist, scared to death he will announce my mouth is rotting. Do you know what that man found after xrays and poking around?? NOTHING. I was brushing my teeth too hard, in fact, and needed to ease up a little.
Oh yeah, and maybe we'll put some enamel on your molars . . . just because. It will cost you an arm and a leg, but hey it might be a good idea. Oh, and remember how you were expecting a cleaning today? Yeah, no, not going to do that. Nope, not a bit. We'll x-ray, peek, poke, and send you on your merry way, missing a big ole chunk of mula (seriously, it was a huge rip off).  Did you want to schedule a cleaning and that useless procedure for tomorrow? You can leave your limbs at the door.
Thank you. NO. Bloody Mother NO!!!!
So guess who's not going back to that office? Uh-huh. Live and learn, live and learn. 
But if anyone has any dentist they recommend, do let me know. You know, for when I go next year for my next "cleaning" and financial amputation.

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Good morning, Starshine! The Earth says, "Hello!"