From the mind of a tween . . .

Ah, I remember my tween-hood.
My awkward, awkward tween-hood . . . that lasted until I was about nineteen . . .
Luckily, there are no scanned photos to display . . . oh, darn.

Now, I work with tweens . . . and it is such a flashback.  The giggles . . .did I giggle that much? These kids make me laugh. Sometimes, I just about die . . . in the not-laughing kind of way.  Sometimes, I have to fight the laughter. A lot.

Thanks to a long history of Facebook statuses, here are some reasons WHY I try not to laugh until I cry in class:

• Student: I want to teach the class and get paid!
  Me: Oh, really? Are you prepared to give a lecture on the life of C.S. Lewis?
  Student: Yeah! He's the guy that wrote Charlotte's Web, right?
  Me: Uh, no, honey, that was E.B. White.
  Student: E.B. White. C.S. Lewis. Same thing.
  
• So, today in class, I thought it would be a good idea to illustrate a literary concept using stick figures. In my lecturing fervor, I accidentally drew a stick figure with a third leg.
  Yep.
  I caught it immediately, but it was too late.
  Do you have any idea how hard it is to recover from that level of middle school hysteria?
  
• Today, some of my students proclaimed, pointing accusingly, "Mrs. Bocchino! They don't know who Winston Churchill is! They thought he was a hill!"
  Turns out there was a serious misunderstanding when the students were looking for a Winstonchurch Hill on a map  during history class. Oy.

•  Me: So, you see, here we have the four elements--
  Student: Isn't there a fifth one? A fifth element?
  Me: No, honey, that's a sci-fi movie with Bruce Willis.

•  Me: And, see, by diagramming the sentence, we are able to get rid of all the fluff--
  Student: What's fluff?
  Me: Oh, you know . . . all the unnecessary words . . .
  Student: Oh. My dad speaks in fluff.

•  In class, we begin discussing Robert Frost. One student looks up from his notes and says, "Wait . . . is this guy a poet or a booker?"
   "A BOOKER?!?!?! SERIOUSLY?!?!? A BOOKER???"

• Student 1: Mrs. Bocci! Can I ride with you to the field trip? I want to see what's in your DVD player!
  Me: My what?!
  Student 2: Your DVD player. You have one, right?
  Me: Ok, guys, I drive a 2002 CRV. There is no DVD player. Plus, I don't believe in car DVD players. Whatever happened to looking at the scenery or a conversation? And, since I don't have kids, who on earth is going to watch it?
  Student 3 [he and his peers looking at me as if I've grown a third eye]: You drive an '02? That's old! And no DVD? Boring. We don't want to ride with you.
  
• In class, while discussing a writing exercise describing your reaction to four possible scenarios, one student examined the instructions and stated, "Hmmmm it says the animal 'darts in front of your car.' Well, it can't be a turtle then. They don't dart; they meander."

• Student: Mrs Bocci, when will we start reading Dr Jelly and Mr Heigle?
  Me: Ummm . . . Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?
  Student: Isn't that what I said?

I wish I could remember more . . . some days, it's so hysterical and chaotic, all you remember is that the day happened and you are glad you're still alive at the end of it.