Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Wrong Place for Shoes and Other Updates

Peeps, I'm posting this from my phone, and I have no idea how I feel about that.
I don't think I like it.
So if I miss an autocorrect malady, please forgive me just this once.

I always say I will blog more, and then something comes up. This time? It's employment.
That's right, peeps, Ima workin'!
Maybe not a fancy career or anything, but I'm now full-time nanny to an adorable four-year-old girl.  

Let me say this right now: moms are heroes. After only two days--count 'em! TWO--I came home so exhausted that I couldn't form coherent sentences and had a meltdown over wanting to avoid tricker treaters because, dagnabbit, my house was messy, I was hungry, and all I wanted to do was watch TV uninterrupted and eat something other than PB&J. Did you know "I need a nap" two-year-old-style fits are less than attractive on a twenty-six-year-old woman?? It was bad, peeps. BAD. All that to say, moms, you need chocolate and a mani-pedi like STAT!!! Husbands/Boyfriends/Whatevers, get on that business like NOW. Mama needs a break.

Despite my newfound battle for stamina, it's been great. Really. :) It's just that life doesn't let up because now there's work,  housekeeping (or there should be .... My floors .... The vacuum is desperately needing to kiss and make up with my carpet; it's revolting), cooking, the new social life, AND YOU!! Yay blogging!!! So, after eight months of wasting time, I'm relearning how to manage my time without imploding into a puddle of exhausted goo. I'll get my stamina back soon ..... Lord willing .... And I bet I'll have lots of fun nanny stories.

 Like this one:
My wee little charge is playing with her Polly Pocket doll under the table because, apparently, that's the place to play ... Or I'm just naive to sneakiness because I've been out of the kid game for a while. Then I hear, "HEY!!! Hey you! Help!! I have a slipper stuck in my nose."
"You what?!?"
"A slipper! It's in my nose!!"
I had flashbacks to the story about my brother who, at age three, decided it would be a good idea to tear the buttons out if his toy phone and stuff them up his snozz. "Mommy, ABC up my nose!" He sneezed them out during the panicked drive to the doctor. 
So I pinched the empty nostril and told her to blow as hard as she could. In response, a tiny teal scuba flipper burst out of her nose, unfolding and twirling like an acrobat shot from a cannon. Success.
Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. Huzzah. No nose surgery today, peeps. Not on my watch.
We proceeded to have a discussion about why we PLEASE do not put tiny shoes up our nose. 

And that's my life now :) 



Those of you who have requested I make you buttons, I have NOT forgotten!! I am working on them, I promise! If anyone else would like to add a free sponsor button to my site, shoot me an email at ANYWAYWIND(at)GMAIL(dot)COM. If you don't have a button, don't worry! I can whip one up for you if you send me a picture of yours that you feel suits your blog. 
PLEASE make sure that it is a picture that I can crop or resize to 250x150 pixels (that's a rectangle that is longer than it is tall ;) ). Again, thank you so much! I have some wonderful ladies to introduce to you guys!!! Whoo-hoo!!!

14 comments:

  1. Soooooooo funny! I am impressed that you were able to draw on that memory to solve the problem. :-)

    I am so glad you clarified that the rectangle should be longer than it is tall. I sent you taller than longer. So much for my reading and math skills. ;-) I'll try to remedy that soon.

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  2. hilarious! your first page of the nanny diaries.=)

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  3. Michelle @ Jarrah JungleNovember 6, 2013 at 8:20 PM

    Man cant believe you wrote all that from your phone, you go girl! So good to hear your working, pity it gets in the way of blogging though :) If only we could find a way to blog for a living, that would be my dream come true, maybe one day :)

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  4. Haha! I love little kid stories! Please share them because I will never get sick of hearing them!

    Hey you!

    Bahaha so great!

    Also, yes. Mani-pedi, stat. ;]

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  5. Wow, I'm impressed you wrote this all on your phone. Mad skillzzzzz. And congrats on the new gig!

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  6. Woop woop! Here's to being workin' girls! :)

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  7. Yeah, the phone typing is tricky . . . the Blogger app definitely helps ;] And thank you!

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  8. Kid stories are the best, right??? Hopefully I get some more, soon . . . and she starts using my name. She knows it, but "Hey! Hey you! Hello!" seems to be my title ;]
    And, yeah, Evan should get on that mani-pedi business, right?

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  9. Blogging for a living would be awesome! Maybe one day . . . in the distant future . . . or something . . . ;] For now, phone typing when she "naps" . . . or something ;]

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  10. Well, my first instinct was tweezers, but then I thought maybe blowing could help . . . and TA-DA!!!
    And your button looks great! Yay!!!

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  11. I think I would have done a slight freak out dance if I was watching a kid that put something up their nose.

    Stopping by from the blog hop.
    Ashley

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  12. That was the thing--I didn't see it! She just suddenly started shouting. What is it with kids and sticking random things up their noses???

    Thanks for stopping by!

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